HONEY I'M HOME!




I say home because writing this post is very much my homecoming



Think of it like, the first step on the path to becoming my former fearless self. I’m sure by now many of you have seen my Instagram post explaining my absence from social media and my blog. In a nutshell, I came out of an abusive marriage. 

During this relationship I lost myself. I lost the love and passion for life, my blog, my friends and just about everything else. I let the idea of compromise consume me, I believed the sacrifices I was making were necessary to maintain the relationship. All I so desperately wanted was security and love. I was striving so hard for that happy ending that I fell victim to psychological, emotional and physical abuse. I’ve never lived in a violent household, nor did I know how to deal with it, I believed things would get better and in time he would change. The reality is, things don’t change. Very rarely do toxic situations become better they get worse. I have some horrific memories of last year, my 30th birthday being one of them - but that’s all they are now, memories and here I am 8 months later feeling more than ready to move forward.

I didn't realise how one simple, honest Instagram post would bring me the closure I needed. I am still overwhelmed by the love and support from so many of my followers. I am also saddened by the amount of women who reached out to me, sharing their experiences of similar situations. I feel the need and now the strength to speak up about this - If by doing so I help even one person leave an abusive/toxic situation then I genuinely feel like I've done something. Together us women must have each others backs and for the first time in my life, I really experienced true womanhood by speaking up and sharing my story. 

It’s been a journey, a life lesson and it has taught me so much about myself especially my tolerance to toxicity. I am that 30 year young woman who wanted to be loved, happily married and starting a future with someone I believed he could be. The reality is he never existed the man I married couldn’t be further from my expectations of a true partner. 

Without going any deeper (right now) I’m doing good. I see a therapist weekly and I’ve spent the last 7 months on working on myself and working through the trauma of this experience. I’m on antidepressants and although there’s always such mixed views on them, they work for me. I have been on and off them for 4 years and personally they have helped massively in stabilising my mood. It’s kind of the kick start I need to get up in the morning and go. I’ve mainly been taking life easy and being kind to myself over the last 7 months but really I've missed this online home of mine and I've missed interacting with you all. 

I have decided to start afresh with MouldyFruit - I didn’t want to keep my existing content up because to be honest, I’m not the same person and I want to start over. 

So here’s to the new future of MouldyFruit. I don’t know what I’ll be covering (beauty obvs) but a little bit of everything. My main goal is to keep it real, keep it honest and fall in love with writing again. I also feel like I can now be open and honest with my struggles of dealing with my depression, which in itself is a huge weight lifted.  

I hope you guys will stick by me on this next chapter, I wish you all much love and thanks. 

From your forever online friend 


P.S YES I bought a new car and YES my number plate is MOLLDY X - I mean subtle as ever *eye roll*. True story here when I got the car a few months ago, it was liberating buying myself my dream car that I had worked solely for. I was having a conversation with a friend and at the time I had no intention of ever coming back online. He told me "Zara, no matter what you will always be MOULDY". So I bought the plate as homage to that, as a reminder of the last 9 years of MouldyFruit and no one can ever take that away from me. If you see me rolling, wave and say HI! 





20 comments

  1. So happy to see you back! You’re an amazing beautiful strong woman and you will inspire many. Keep doing what you’re doing. Much love and support all the way from Chicago!!!

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  2. Go girl! You deserve it!!!! Love ��, Valérie

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  3. It is the best timе to make ѕome plans for the future and it'ѕ time to ƅe happy.

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  5. Loving the car and numberplate! I'm so happy you're doing okay. Despite everyone's busy lives, I did wonder about you and hoped you were okay. You're so much stronger now having been through that, and I think you're so brave to be sharing your story, more of us younger women need to read things like this. It's easy to romanticise and glamorise marriage, but if the foundation isn't strong to begin with, I can imagine it becomes very difficult to maintain and build up on. Heres to the brighter future for us all! Strong, empowered and liberated women xx


    Iqra | The Blushing Giraffe x

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Thanks for stopping by! I read all your comments and try to reply to them. If you would like more of a direct reply feel free to email me at.. Mouldyfruit@gmail.com xxx